Posted on by michaelwconrad

Sisyphus, The Stone, and The Hill

It feels pretty good to have the word out that Becky and I will be taking over writing the monthly Wonder Woman series as of issue 770. We’re really excited to be working on such an iconic character, one that in many ways is foundational to the entire DCU. This has been a flying leap for me, and for what it’s worth I’m gonna share my version of the story of how it came to pass. This is really just me looking out my own window, I’m not trying to offend or misrepresent anyone; so just keep in mind this stuff is all slanted through my perspective.

MARCH 2020- 

What a shit month. We had just done what turned out to be our only convention of the entire year (Richmond Galaxy Con). After this we were to shoot up to Portland for a few days and then up to Seattle for Emerald City, one of our favorite shows to do. 

At the end of 2019 I felt like I had a good head of steam with Tremor Dose making big noise at ComiXology Originals, our issue of Doom Patrol with its great reception, as well as the Tomb of Dracula short featured in Marvel’s Bizarre Adventures. I entered into 2020 with a game plan and was prepared to spend the first quarter of the year doing the dance with publishers in pursuit of more writing work. Some prospects were already in place, and it was time to lock them in.

Emerald City in particular was critical to this. I had scheduled meetings with a number of smaller publishers and was prepared to wow them with my big ideas and hopefully end up with something on the shelves with one or two of them. I scrambled through my contacts in the lead up to the show and had basically filled my downtime with plans of coffee meetings, dinners, and mid show sneak-aways to discuss what they want as a company and how I could be the person to do it.

You know where this is going.

Covid prevented all of that and damn near broke us all. The timing couldn’t have been worse. We didn’t do ECCC but we still managed to get to PDX where, still not realizing how bad shit was gonna get, we were able to see friends and meet with Image publisher Eric Stephenson. It was the last great trip we were to take together in 2020, and contributed heavily to my initial depression.

Everyone wants an Image book. Most don’t get the opportunity to sit across from the guy who can make it happen. I showed him some of my work and he seemed receptive, and we promised to follow up in the subsequent weeks… you know, the weeks where the world stopped turning, and the entire industry in question nearly died? The weeks during which we cloistered ourselves away in hopes of stopping the virus? Those weeks during which I personally lost several friends to the despair of it all… remember those weeks?

So the follow up didn’t exactly happen, it was very much a wait and see as the dust settled on the memory of the excitement that I once had. I had slipped back down the hill, and the distance between the late 2019 successes and my aspirations at the time grew long and felt invalid.

In effort to make this readable I’ll skip over the stuff that saved me. I’ve spoken about the real savior that came in the form of the work on Skeleton Crew for Cinder Cone Games, and pushing myself to write and draw a few comics on my own. These things are incredibly fulfilling but I knew that it wasn’t my future. I doubt anyone will ever hire me to write a game again (not for lack of quality, but more for lack of inroads in that industry) and that I may never develop an audience that wants to see my art on a consistent enough basis to live off of it. These projects were not long term solutions, but they were medicine for my broken outlook. These things saved me.

MARCH 2019-

We went to WonderCon without a table. Yes, they would have loved to have Becky be a big part of the show, but really we just went to hangout. Becky did a couple panels and maybe a signing, but we wanted to get to LA to visit the DC offices and to see friends. The trip was outstanding in many ways, we not only toured DC, but also BOOM!, and Humanoids. We got to connect with friends, run around haunted hotels, visit the DC archives (absolutely mental) and generally have a blast. At the convention we were able to bother creators and dig through the “old town” back issue bins in search of rare Conan editions. It was fun in a time when Covid wasn’t even a word.

I bring this up because this is where we bumped into this guy Jamie S. Rich. Here is where the story gets strange because on the off chance that Jamie reads this I’ll be mortified… but this is how it went…

At the end of the show we bumped into Cecil Castelluci who had been working on Batgirl with Jamie, the two were to meet at the hotel bar to chat and have a cheeky drink. She invited us along, moments later I was seated across from the (at the time) editor of the Bat Family of books at DC.

Now, I’m not TERRIBLE with these kinds of interactions, but I do get excited. This excitement often manifests as finding myself either speaking too much or too little. In this case I’m not sure exactly where I fell on that spectrum, but I don’t think I was exactly the most charming person Jamie had ever met.

Jamie is cool. He looks cool, acts cool, and oftentimes folks like that will throw me off, for the same reasons they might throw you off. Not only was this guy in a seat of power, but also he’s more charismatic, funny as hell, and most importantly he has NOTHING to prove. Meanwhile I’m stewing in juice hoping to make a good impression on this guy who holds the keys. I don’t know that he was aware that I’m a creator, and I wasn’t trying to pitch him on anything, but it would be a half truth to say I wasn’t looking for any opportunity to make my doals known. I kind of wish I was just like “Hey! I’m a comic creator and I’d love to connect later about some ideas I have!” This would have broken the tension and given him the opportunity to ignore any emails that might follow; like any good editor!

Anyway, I didn’t- Becky did mention it toward the end. She brought up our DC trip and how we lightweight pitched a XXXXXXXXXX book. She reminded him that our Doom Patrol book was initially run through him. He was cool about it, but as the bar time was coming to a close he picked up the tab. I insisted on paying my own way and he said something that haunted me for the next year. It was a VERY dry joke, and one that was so true I couldn’t help but feel stung by it.

“Nah, it’s cool man, ride those coattails!” He said it with a deadpan that had me ruminating on how I am perceived, and allowed me to sink even deeper into my fears of being seen as something other than a legitimate creator.

SOMEWHERE IN THE MIRE 2020

I was nearing the end of my work on Skeleton Crew when Becky came into the room and said that she had just gotten an email from DC. She had been asked to write a Midnighter thing for this even called Future State. I was stoked for her immediately, I love Midnighter. She then hit me with “They specifically asked if you’d like to co-write, they must have liked what we did with Doom Patrol!”

I didn’t believe her at first and asked to see the email, sure enough “they” did, and it had been Jamie S. Rich who had made the call and sent the email. I was flabbergasted, I thought he HATED me, or at very least saw me as some barnacle on the side of the SS CLoonan!

I knew what their gig was, my paranoia speaking to me saying “They’ve asked after you because they know she’s more likely to take the job to help Michael.” This machiavellian scheme may or may not be of my own imagining, but I didn’t care. I was getting another shot at DC during the height of Covid!

I immediately set to work crafting an idea that would allow us to explore our interests while bringing forth a Midnighter story worth reading. We created something wholly unexpected by the editors and I really believe that this is what brought what would follow. I was a bit aggressive in video conferences, polite, but I didn’t bother to hide my drive. When we chatted with the whole Superman team that Jamie was now shepherding, I was ecstatic to find that our ideas for Midnighter would inform the work of our peers. We created a big mess, and intentional mess, a mess that everyone seemed to want to contribute to.

After turning in those scripts we were hit with another offer.

“Would you two wanna tell a story about Wonder Woman wayyyyy in the future?”

This was a no brainer, it took us almost no time to submit our idea for Immortal Wonder Woman and I’m not playing when I say it’s an Eisner level book. Anyone who sleeps on this WILL be hearing about it and will be tracking it down. The only problem with Immortal is that it wasn’t enough! We fell in love with telling Diana stories and wanted more. Our editors Jamie, Brittany, and Bixie casually asked if we would like to tell more, so of course we said yes!

NOVEMBER 2020

We were asked to participate in CCXP Worlds, one of the biggest conventions in the… uh- worlds. Becky and I along with Jen Bartel, artist of Immortal Wonder Woman were to appear on a digital panel along with the other Wonder Woman teams to hype the Future State event. Moderated by Jamie himself, this would air in early December and serve to provide a bit of insight on what we had planned for Diana, Yara, and Nubia. Prior to starting the panel Jamie said that they would be announcing that Becky and I were the new writing team on Wonder Woman and that we should keep that quiet until the panel went live. I didn’t really understand the full extent of this in the moment.

It was only later that I realized what had been obvious to everyone but me… we were the writers of the Wonder Woman book. Like… the series… during the year she turns 80. We were there. I am part of the mythology now.

NOW 2020

I had him all wrong. In getting to know Jamie through our efforts to make cool comics I have discovered he is anything but rude. He IS  smart as a whip, and at times scary. He’s also kind and thoughtful, and someone who really is trying to make people feel at home in their professions and allowing talent to explore what they are capable of.You know, he might have meant it- the coattails thing, but it wouldn’t be untrue, but it isn’t really an insult. A coattail only lasts as long as the person riding it doesn’t ruin everything. From my position I was able to play a role in getting us going on an A List book at a premier publisher. We’ll see how you like Midnighter and Immortal Wonder Woman, after those I suspect that I’ll feel a little less like an imposter and more like who I am. A regular guy with a passion for telling stories.

Posted on by michaelwconrad

Somniloquy

This is one of those mornings when the words aren’t coming easy, not for lack of ideas as much as not knowing what the move is right now, let me explain-

I’m in an awkward position of having a number of projects nearly at a point where the fun can begin- projects with big publishers, more work with the incredible Noah Bailey, potential interest from even more publishers, a newfound interest in finding a literary agent, so much to do without really having a straight up greenlight to follow. This is a trying time, as I feel like I’ve been suited up, ready to enter the arena and there keep being delays. I tell myself to just keep writing, keep thinking about stories, everything I consume I consider and examine for its strengths- but I just want to get in there and mix it up- like, yesterday.

At GalaxyCon Richmond I told a young writer to just keep grinding, that the path to writing is simple: if you wanna be a writer you must, no matter what, write, always. Right now I feel like a bit of an imposter, but I’m doing what I suggested, I am typing. I told this guy that most will give up, most will be defeated, and only those who push can manage the sad pressures of waiting. I was speaking from a very real place of experience, it’s really the only advice I can give knowing that I am becoming a master of that particular discipline.

I am not where I want to be right now (who is frankly) but I write knowing that if I obey the creature that crawled into my mind and told me to write I will get closer to my goals. I know that if I keep throwing my body against the wall it will break, if I spend my whole life doing this it will not be a life poorly lived. I don’t know how many other writers meditate on this, but it has been my mantra, I will not stop.

Twitter can be an ugly place, right? Aside from the unavoidable elements of negativity there are the folks who, rightfully so, boast about new projects coming together. They got a Marvel contract, they have a book doing big numbers, they have something coming next month in Previews, hell- they have an editor/agent who believes in them. As someone early on the path this can be very discouraging because I want these things, I feel I have the ability to tell stories that will connect and intrigue and drive interest to a book, why not me? The answer is simple, I have to work more, work harder, attack my goals from all angles, I have to obey the mantra and not stop.

I recognize that I am in a position that is enviable, I have written for the big two, I have an OGN that has done well in sales and the critics have appreciated what I have done. I also recognize that due to having Becky coaching me through this I have a level of insight not afforded to many. Couple this with the fact that I have found a mentor in Shelly Bond, and numerous other seasoned professionals, I am in afforded opportunities that few have. This doesn’t stop the voices though, the nagging, taunting voices that drone on from the moment I wake till the moment I find sleep. The voices enter dreams, interrupt sweet moments, distract me from the work at times, they do as much good as they do bad. These are the voices every creator requires and hates all at once.

When I played music my friend Richard and I used to fantasize about what we would do and who we would become when we hung up our guitars. We would have hobbies and good jobs, we would be normal. I realize now that not only am I not capable of being normal, I wouldn’t want to be. Making things gives my life a value that cannot be fully defined, but it is by no means easy, and it doesn’t always feel good.

I know that when I post about some of these things coming together (soon) that some will feel like I have made it. This thought is laughable, and it speaks to the agonizing fate of an artist. Nothing/everything is not enough. It isn’t for money, or legacy, or acclaim, it’s to feed the monster. The more you feed it, the more it grows and the hungrier it becomes. I will, one day achieve the goals I have in place and on a grey day like this I will take a moment and write a post just like this one. I will be looking for more, looking for a sunrise, feeling like I am not doing enough. It’s a strange fate to resign yourself to, but I find some comfort in knowing that there are always upgrades.

Let’s change the subject though, let’s talk about some nice things.

-I’m really proud of those short stories I shared. I hope you took the time to read them. I continue to write them but I will no longer be sharing them here. This is due to “plans” I have and advice from folks in publishing. Additionally, I was starting to feel like I was hitting folks with a bunch of content that no one was asking for, so I’ll save it for only the folks who appreciated that part of my writing regimine.

-At GalaxyCon I was treated well by mostly everyone. I sold a good deal of stuff and signed a lot of the work that I already have out there. I got to be part of a panel with Becky and Richard Case, a man whose work I have admired for the better part of my life. I felt like I was at The Dance. This was a privilege and I look forward to more.

-I’m proud of the script I wrote for Noah Bailey, my partner on Tremor Dose. Our next book is going to really blow everyone away, and I hope that a few months from now I will be talking about how incredible it was to work with him again, and how much easier it was now this time around.

-I’m making strides in working on my self confidence. A huge part of it is adjusting my language to reflect a new opinion of myself. I’m trying not to say “I am not really an artist.” because this is patently untrue and it does a disservice to my work. I’m trying to accept compliments without running away from them, be it by dismissal or literally leaving. I’m trying to accept that I have the ability to connect to others through my work and that it is a mark of my hard earned skills. I’m feeling more like I have earned this.

-I’m trying to be a better person, to share what I know and who I am in an honest way. I’m trying to see myself as a peer and not someone who aspires to attain something that is an illusion any damn way.

-I’m trying to feel less jealous and critical of others in the industry. This is juvenile and weak, and it has no place in my life- or yours.

-I’m trying to be a better friend to the planet and to people. I aim to improve my perspective, and I’m really proud of that.

-I remain humble. I remember to feel gratitude, but not to displace my good fortune. Luck is not the critical ingredient, I work hard.

No, I’m not there yet. The destination keeps moving, the goal post is on wheels, it’s only in accepting this that I am able to grow. I thank you all for allowing me to share and for the kindness you have shown me. I’m living my dreams and that is the most important thing I must remember. I’m already there, with you.

Posted on by michaelwconrad

24 Hour Comics!

I recently did a 24 Hour comic. For those of you unfamiliar with the challenge it was levied by the great comic creator/scholar Scott Mcloud. Here are the rules:

Create a 24 page comic in 24 continuous hours. That means everything: Story, finished art, lettering, color (if applicable), paste-up, everything. Once pen hits paper, the clock starts ticking. 24 hours later, the pen lifts off the paper, never to descend again. Even proofreading has to occur in the 24 hour period. (Computer-generated comics are fine of course, the same principles apply).

No sketches, designs, plot summaries or any other kind of direct preparation can precede the 24 hour period. Indirect preparation such as assembling tools, reference materials, food, music etc. is fine.

Your pages can be any size, any material. Carve them in stone, print them with rubber stamps, draw them on your kitchen walls with a magic marker. Whatever you makes you happy.

The 24 hours are continuous. You can take a nap, but the clock keeps ticking. If you get to 24 hours and you’re not done, either end it there (“the Gaiman Variation”) or keep going until you’re done (“the Eastman Variation”). I consider both of these “Noble Failure” Variants and true 24 hour comics in spirit; but you must sincerely intend to do the 24 pages in 24 hours at the outset.

I’m proud to say that I was successful in my efforts. Starting at noon on September 19 2019, ending at around 9am September 20. My partner in this affair was the young and talented artist Noah Bailey. Noah created something far more beautiful than I, but he was unable to complete his comic. I say this not as a self-celebration, I only bring it up because the challenge is impossibly hard. Noah approached it as a serious challenge but when he needed a nap he took a nap. When Noah needed to stretch, or eat, or not be buggered down by the thing he allowed himself a few moments. He also took time to make sure that his comic was representative of his high skill level, I was not so precious. 

This is just how I am. When I take something on I put myself into a place where I cannot fail. Call it foolish pride, but I wouldn’t have been able to face myself if I failed to complete the task at hand (or at least give it all I had). I didn’t eat much, didn’t take breaks, didn’t chat much, my only real moments of distraction came in effort to document the event with some live Instagram videos (you can find me on IG @michaelwconrad). I just plain had to complete the task.

I learned a lot about the challenge in this, my first effort, but before I get to those lets do a list of numbers… that’s fun right?

3- G pen nibs (swapped to save time cleaning)

1- panel cut out and taped over a ruined panel

2- refill cartridges for a Pentel brush pen

2- pots of coffee

1- vegan burger

2- oatmeal/peanut butter balls

3- cans of pamplemousse La Croix

1- brief stretch to go hit a Pokestop (lest I lose my streak)

2- hours of a terrible audio book I will not name

1- major spill (Noah poured an energy drink all over his completed pages)

1- lovely spouse who cheered me on (critical)

½- bottle of ink

0- thumbnails (I spent the first hour trying, decided to go without)

Next time I do this challenge I’ll take the following steps to make life easier:

-create templates for the pages I use

-create thumbnail pages ready to fill, in case I decide to use them next time 

-do not use a quill, thick tech pens

-more water/less coffee

-do it alone or with many (so I can wear headphones/not feel like I have to be a host)

-have enough space to hang my work or lay it out as I go for continuity

-improve my pace so I can stretch more, my back STILL hurts

-do not schedule it directly following a convention (MondoCon in this case)

-do better

In the lead up to doing this a lot of people had advice, good and bad alike. I would suggest that you don’t listen to that, each of us have to find our own path. It was really cool to hear others war stories, but I’m not like other people, so some of the stuff they cautioned me against or advocated for proved to only distract me from pursuing my own truth. Hell, I had a few people tell me it was dumb, a waste of time, and even reductive! In my case, the 24 Hour Comics Challenge did exactly what it was meant to do: It pushed me to my limit and gave me an opportunity to remember that I am capable of accomplishing difficult tasks. Were I to have not been able to complete the challenge I would have taken pride in my effort and it would have given me another reminder that I have limitations. 

I look forward to doing it all again next year and schedule permitting, I will do it on the actual day that has been established as the official challenge date… this year it falls on Saturday the 5th of October… Will you take the challenge? Surely if I can do it you can too!

Epilogue: After a brief rest of about 3 hours, I got a call from a major publisher about potentially working on a dream job. While the two things are not connected, I feel this is a reward from the universe for having made a sacrifice. 

How badly do you want your dream? Are you willing to do the impossible?

More: I’m currently setting up my 24 Hour Comic for print. I’ll just go to Kinko’s and make a small run of them. I have been making comics this way for years and I take pride in the fact that I will never stop being that guy. If you’re interested in purchasing a copy I will be sure to follow up with a link (likely after I return from the UK in a few weeks).

Most Important: Bizarre Adventures comes out on October 2, 2019… this is tomorrow at the time I write this. In the pages of the aforementioned book I make my mainstream debut with a Tomb Of Dracula story I am very proud of. Marvel fucking Comics… who woulda thought! I hope you pick it up and let me know what you think.

So let it be written, let it be done.

M