Posted on by michaelwconrad · 1 Comment

Labour Intensive

I would like to start this entry with a thank you to those who have taken the time to check out the Hey, Amateur! Kickstarter I wrote about in my first entry. We are well on our way to getting funding, but I encourage you to consider supporting me and my fellow creators in backing the project. It’s really appreciated, and I guarantee you will be pleased with what we are up to.

Over the past week my sleep has been poor, I have a major deadline looming and I’d be lying if I said part of the issue hasn’t been stress. All my life I have dreamed about writing comics for a living and here I am, doing it, and it is the hardest thing I have ever done. No, I’m not sweating in the summer sun digging trenches, or dealing with a careless public in a corporate setting, hell, I don’t even need to wear pants! The hard part is in the uncertainty.

For years I have said (often in jest) that I like to “live in the mystery” a term I stole from somewhere long forgotten. I use this phrase to describe my lack of long term planning. It isn’t a good thing by Western standards I’ll wager, worthy of scorn from those who would feel it their role to impart some unsolicited wisdom. The “mystery” remains one of the few ways I have been able to reconcile the hopelessness I know in my heart to be central to the truth. Maybe it’s a self fulfilling prophecy to live like my days are numbered, but it is a prophecy that will absolutely be proven true given enough time.

While I live in the mystery, I have never been one to allow myself to fear financially. I have always gotten up early and gone to work, stayed late, pulled OT hours, in short, I’ve done what it takes. Even on a meager salary I’ve always made sure that I can cover my bills and not have to constantly check my account. I wish to continue on this way until I drop dead at my desk, but as a freelance writer the most gripping fear is that there will be no reason to even be at that desk!

My brother Steven is a killer photographer. Like many troglodytes I have at times thought that photography was a lesser art, more reliant on the tool than the hand and eye. I have had this feeling rightly driven from my mind by watching what he does and knowing full well, that the tools aren’t the magic. We all laugh when some bum asks a great illustrator what kind of pencil they have used, like it’s a magic wand that will impart a lifetime at the drawing board to anyone willing to drop 7.99 on that soft graphite. It isn’t the tools, you know this right? The tools can be a handy excuse for procrastination, or something to foreshorten the suffering involved in a process, but it’s the head and heart of the creator that makes the magic.

But I digress, back to my brother and I. When I went freelance my brother had some great wisdom for me. Having been a freelancer for many years himself, abandoning the safety of an hourly wage he would know. His advice was to allow myself to relax. He explained that during his years as a freelancer he was never off the clock, always hustling to find more work. He gave up video games (a passion of his) and barely watched television. He wouldn’t go out with friends because, while he had some money, he didn’t know if another job would manifest before his next billing cycle. He wasn’t really living, until he sat himself down and gave himself the very advice he sought to impart to me.

I had already found that trap by the time he got to me. I wasn’t ever allowing myself to turn off, and in many ways that is still where I’m at. To the casual observer I have plenty of idle time. I can be found reading, listening to podcasts with a glazed expression, baking bread leisurely with that same glaze, but during these times I’m churning. It’s not just the freelance way, it’s the writers way.

I was out recently with my friend Evan Narcisse, an immense talent and freelance writer (if you haven’t read Rise of the Black Panther Marvel has been goodly enough to collect it in a beautiful trade- do get it, you’ll become an instant fan of Evan’s) and we were commiserating on how while a writer can knock out enough words in a day to feel accomplished, the real work is ALWAYS going on. Everything is an education, everything is potential, part of us always unable to be completely in the moment because there’s an internal court reporter clacking away in hopes of finding the next thing. But that’s only part of it, right?

The other part is the feeling that you’re constantly bothering editors. The “hey did you get my email” message can only be reworded so many times, and a human being can only deal with so much silent rejection without it taking a major toll. Sometimes you’ll find yourself in a creative holding pattern because all of your hope and financial stability lives in a single, dusty, unanswered email that has been filed away in a digital waste bin without so much as “nice try kid” to show for it. After a few weeks it has be counted as a loss and let go of, soon you learn that if this thing is gonna work you’re going to have to count on NOTHING until a contract has been signed, and even then the future is not certain.

That’s how it goes, if you’re lucky you didn’t confide in a friend about this great potential project only to later have to explain that editors went another way, almost always freelance code for “I don’t know what the fuck happened and I’m still mortally wounded by it.” I have learned to keep my mouth shut, and for anyone who really knows me, this can be really hard. I’m not a braggart, I think I just desperately want to be excited and to share that excitement. Remember fatalistic stuff from earlier in this rambling diatribe? I’m hustling to find joy. Some of us carry a darkness that is only lit when we have found an outlet, a safe place to feel pride (had to look that word up) and give ourselves a break from that shitty voice in our head telling us we will die without having shared the very thing that may redeem us for our consumption.

Some mornings I wake up and feel like I could Kool-Aid Man my way through a wall. I’ll rise and attack the process, sometimes for no reason clear to me. Other days I get up and putter around, I go to the bad place, the place where I want to walk away. Who am I kidding, this is common, it’s the theme, the throughline of the thing. The default of every freelancer I know is the fear. We all fight it off in different ways, the ones who do best in that battle seem to have careers, the others fade away. 

Writing is less about being good at telling stories than it is about all the other stuff. Here are a couple to consider.

  • Slay the Nemean Lion- write everyday, even w/o assignment
  • Slay the Nine Headed Lernaean Hydra- know most of it will be garbage
  • Capture the Ceryneian Hind- stay up to date on what’s working in the industry
  • Capture the Erymanthian Boar- realize that other people tricks won’t work for you
  • Clean the Augean stables in a single day- edit/rewrite that shit
  • Slay the Stymphalian Birds- deal with missed opportunities/rejection
  • Capture the Cretan Bull- equally hard, deal with success on the rare day it happens
  • Steal the Mares of Diomedes- watch your babies get killed by editors and understand that they ALWAYS know better than you
  • Obtain the girdle of Hippolyta- make sure you move your body and eat right
  • Obtain the cattle of the monster Geryon- be working on the next thing before you get too comfortable with that tiny success you had
  • Steal the apples of the Hesperides- make sure you speak of yourself in a positive way, others will be sure to speak poorly of you, you don’t need to put them out of the job.
  • Capture and bring back Cerberus- know that your goal will never be obtained, the finish line is moving, always moving, just as fast or faster than you

Just a note for clarity, there are far more than 12 Labours… that’s just a couple, and it’s not intended for educational purposes as much as it is as a reminder to myself. A lot of these are going to potentially feel contradictory, or not true in all circumstances, and that’s because the rules change, always… we are gonna experience ups and downs, and during the ebb and flow of the process elements of this will be void or highlighted.

I think I’ll put a pin in it there. In many ways this has been an exercise in procrastination and that deadline is still there. Thankfully I have a deadline… I better also spend some time today working toward the next one… no video games for me today I’m afraid, gonna have to order a pizza and pull an all nighter…

Damn, it’s happening again.

So let it be written, so let it be done.

M

Below is the link to the Hey, Amateur! Kickstarter! Be a friend to the cause (and to me) and support the book! https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/sxbond/hey-amateur

Posted on by michaelwconrad

Welcome, let’s just get this thing going…

At long last I’m starting a blog to serve as a repository for longer form ideas that are simply too much for social media to handle comfortably. I’ve chosen a blog for now as it seems less compulsory/invasive/or otherwise annoying than a newsletter. Maybe at some point that kind of thing will feel more appropriate, but for now our time together is best spent in a more agreeable fashion such as this.

So, the reason for calling you all here today is to take the opportunity to write a bit about the absolute honor I have to work with Black Crown Publishing on a forthcoming book called Hey, Amateur. This is to be a monsterous hardcover tome of 9 panel comics  instructing readers on how to perform a number of activities on a professional level. My involvement will see me teaching the reader How To Make a Talisman (and then destroy it), but more on that at a later date.

I met Shelly Bond at Emerald City Comic Con earlier this year. I can’t lie, I was starstruck, she proved to be every bit the dynamic powerhouse I had long imagined her to be. My familiarity with her work likely began not long after she came on to the Vertigo imprint at DC Comics. Later when she would take the reins following Bergers departure, Bond’s creative impact only became even more apparent, and I was eating it up.

To my mind there are two kinds of good editors, the kind of editor who, like an invisible God, helps creators shine bright and rise to new levels without so much as an aparent whisper. Then there are the kind of editors like Shelly, they leave their mark on everything they touch. You know a Shelly Book well before you check the credits, it just has this… je ne sais quoi. In the wrong hands this can be a real problem, if the sensibilities of the editor are even slightly askew, or if their stroke isn’t absolutely masterful this becomes a turd hanging off an otherwise potentially beautiful thing. A collaborative creative process is like that, a Christmas tree of ideas. The writer pops up a couple ornaments, the artist goes to work wrapping lights and hanging ribbons, and the colorist, letterer, both putting up so many often underappreciated, beautiful, critical things. But the editor… the editor can either make sure the star up top is nice and straight, or can knock the whole thing over with bad notes, ego, too much interference, or possibly the worst thing -indifference.

Shelly always sets it right, and you don’t have to believe me, her track record is available to view with a few simple keystrokes, or you could do me one better and go grab one of her books. Do that enough times and you will find a throughline of intelligence and excellence of execution. The books are undeniably hers in a way that doesn’t feel like the creative team has been shoehorned into something they don’t belong in. There are really few things worse as a comics fan than flipping open a book and hearing the editorial notes in your head. We all know the horror stories from Hollywood about studio interference, this kind of thing is endemic in comics. If you don’t believe one need only reflect on the last bad big crossover to see how great creators can have their light snuffed out to serve the “greater good”. 

This brings us to Black Crown Publishing, Shelly’s carefully curated corner of the IDW Comics empire. When this was announced I was really excited to see the results of an imprint that was hers from top to bottom. The outcome has been some of the most innovative and exciting work the comics world has seen in many years, and again, I encourage you to do some reading and see for yourself.

So when Shelly came to my table I was understandably shook. Here she was, the Queen Bee herself, someone I have wanted to work with before I even realized that I could make a lifestyle out of this passion. That said, I was also well aware she wasn’t stopping by the table to see what Mr Whatshisname was working on, she was there to say hi to a friend, my partner and muse, Becky Cloonan. The two had worked together on a number of projects and Bond must have noticed her while making her rounds. I must have looked like a real creep staring silently as the two spoke… that’s Shelly Fucking Bond (her Christian name). 

Shelly casually mentioned this project, then in it’s formative stages, and I pounced. The embarrassing delirium of this kind of interaction clouds exactly how the exchange played out, but I think I gave her some of my self published work and expressed an interest in being a part of her plans. Again, lack of oxygen forbids me from reporting how all this went with much clarity, but she made the error of giving me her email…

When we got back to Texas I had no choice but to begin to digitally badger Shelly (not Miss Bond, Her Highness, or any of the other names one might be compelled to use, simply Shelly… you only gotta tell me once) about Hey, Amateur a project I only had a tangential bit of information on. I didn’t know who would be involved (this is something I will continue to cover here) or what the scope of the project was, but I knew that it would give me the opportunity to work with someone I had long respected and admired. After some back and forth and some samples, and some pitches, I was added to the project.  

Shelly has worked her ass off to get this thing where it is now, and with the kickstarter live I am excited to see it all come together. As the full roster of talent is revealed it will come into sharper relief as to why I am so excited to be a part of Ms Bo- Shelly’s project. It’s really an honor to be on this thing and I’m looking forward to sharing more as the roll out continues.

There we go, that wasn’t so bad was it? A BLOG!? Let’s check in soon so I can gush over the fact that Jill Fucking Thompson (her Christian name) has also been announced as being in Hey, Amateur along with a murderers row of other incredible creators that will only grow as the announcments continue. Click the link to the Kickstarter to see what is known thus far, pledge your support, and soon enough you will go from “Novice To Nailing It” before you know it.

So let it be written, so let it be done.

M

Here is the link to the Hey, Amateur Kickstarter https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/sxbond/hey-amateur

Here is the link to Shelly’s imprint Black Crown Publishing http://www.blackcrown.pub/